A girl scout leaders guide

Here is a new show that I am loving

Chuck

FLASHBACK! Sarah, wearing braces and looking very much like a teen of the 1990s, arrives home to find cops in the driveway. From the maudlin music playing on the soundtrack, we know something has gone horribly wrong!

Teenage Sarah rushes to a wooded area and begins digging next to a certain tree. She soon uncovers a box filled with cash. A note attached reads: “In case of emergency. Daddy.”

BURBANK, CALIFORNIA. 2008. Sarah, braces gone and looking very much like a woman of the new millennium, pretends to be Chuck’s girlfriend inside the Buy More when her face goes pale. Standing just a few feet away is mysterious young woman who looks a bit like she might have once been BFFs with Paris Hilton.

The two women — approximately the same age — stare daggers at one another.

Sarah grabs Chucks arm and begins walking him quickly toward Casey. The two exchange a few lines of cryptic spy speak before Sarah squirrels the oblivious Chuck to a back room, where he is told to stay put. The room is filled with sleek, high-tech computers a fact that quickly awakens Chucks geek love. “She’s so beautiful!” he coos.

Meanwhile, Sarah confronts the mysterious woman at the yogurt shop. “I know exactly who you are,” the woman says. “We went to high school together! Jenny! That’s it! Jenny Burton!”

Turns out the womans name is Heather and, back in the day, she wasn’t too kind to brace-face Sarah/ Jenny. A man named Mark enters, who also apparently went to high school with Sarah/ Jenny. Chuck, anxious to know more about the origins of his not-so-secret love, ignores Sarah’s command to stay put and enters the shop. He repeatedly refers to Sarah as “Jenny” — much to her chagrin.

He then shakes hands with Mark and immediately has an Intersect moment! Mark might be mixed up in something pretty awful. But what?

Cue catchy opening credits!

Back from a short commercial break, Big Mike announces that he is taking a few days off — meaning Lester will be in charge. “When you look at him, I want you to see Big Mike and not some scrawny ass Indian kid with a Bay City Rollers hairdo,” the boss man says before leaving.

Back at headquarters, Sarah is angry with Chuck for deliberately poking around her past. But the General considers Sarah’s association with Matt — a traitor who developed plans for a super-bomber jet and then sold them to the highest bidder, according to Casey — a perfect cover. Chuck and Sarah will have dinner with Heather and Matt in an effort to learn more about the latter’s involvement with secret bomber plans. Sarah (Jenny) is less than pleased — but Chuck is lovin’ it.

Meanwhile, Lester has instructed the staff to make the customers happy by providing whatever discount they desire. “Lester’s new sales policy,” Morgan explains to Chuck, who watches more than one happy customer exiting the store with loads of stuff. “We’re giving away the merchandise.”

Later that night, Chuck and Sarah/ Jenny eat dinner with Heather and Mark. Heather is short with Mark — and downright bitchy to Sarah. What’s her deal? Mark, sweating profusely, excuses himself to the restroom where a big man with a gun emerges. “Your time is up,” he says with a thick Russian accent. “Give us plans now!”

Chuck, quite by accident (Sarah spilled wine on his crotch), enters the bathroom and finds himself on the wrong end of a gun barrel. Just when you think it’s the end of the Chuckster, Casey enters and roughs the Russian up while Mark hides in the bathroom stall. When Mark finally emerges, he is convinced that Chuck is some sort of killing machine. Naturally, Chuck introduces himself as Special Agent Charles Carmichael.

A few words from our sponsors later, Casey interrogates Mark, who prefers to “deal only with Special Agent Carmichael.” Mark reveals that he was to meet the buyer of the plans tonight, but that it might be a problem because he is also supposed to take his wife to their high-school reunion. Casey proposes they meet the buyer at the reunion. “No one’s gonna mess you, man,” says Chuck/ Agent Carmichael. “I got your back.”

Chuck then stops by the Buy More to discover that Lester’s friendly negotiating ploy has the store down $3,700. He jokingly suggests throwing a keg party and charging mall employees and customer to attend. Much to his horror, Lester decides it’s a great idea. “Glad I’ll be 100 miles away,” Chuck quips.

Later that night, Chuck and Sarah/ Jenny enter the Cougars reunion to the soothing sounds of the Backstreet Boys. Heather and her minions whisper and giggle. The pair is suddenly accosted by Dick, a high-school jock who mercilessly hits on Jenny/ Sarah. Chuck, meanwhile, has another Intersect moment! Dick, he says, has connections to the Russian mob. Sarah’s former tormenter might be the drop man!

Mark makes plans with Dick for the drop while Sarah clues in the deejay (Casey). Then, the nerd-turned-gorgeous-superspy heads outside to confront Dick, who mentions that Sarah’s dad spent a long time in prison. Sarah kicks the man in the face, knocking him out cold. “I’m sorry,” Sarah tells Casey. “Just working out some childhood issues.” Not that it matters. Dick’s trunk is full of bootleg DVDs and other stolen merchandise. He’s small time — and not the drop man. So who is?

Cut to Heather, who walks up to the Russians (posing as alumni — and none too convincingly at that) and points out Mark and Chuck. “Kill them both,” she hisses.

After a short commercial break, we return to the Buy More where the party is raging — and leaning periously toward “out of control.” Lester takes the microphone and attempts to kick everyone out — but they don’t listen to him. The party continues.

Chuck, in the meantime, has spotted the Russians and had another Intersect moment. Improvising, he rushes to the deejay booth and takes the microphone. He shines the spotlight on the Russians, letting Sarah and Casey know who to target. Sarah then notices Heather ducking out of the gymnasium. “She has a part in this,” Sarah says of her old nemesis.

“You go,” Casey says while eyeing the Russians. “I got these two.”

Sarah slides off her heals and enters the girls locker room. “Why’d you do it, Heather?” Heather explains that she married a geek for his knowledge, but betrayed him when someone with deeper pockets offered to buy that geek’s creation. “My husband wasn’t ambitious enough and these Russians offered me a lot of money,” she says.

And then … CATFIGHT! Punches! High leg kicks! Bloody lips! The fight moves into the shower! The showers are accidently turned on! Now its a WET CATFIGHT! More punches! More high leg kicks! More water!

Casey, meanwhile, has taken care of the Russian thugs while Mark hides in a locker. Once again, Mark believes Chuck has saved his life. “I knew you wouldn’t let me down, Agent Carmichael,” Mark says. Casey rolls his eyes.

But back to the CATFIGHT! Bruised and battered, Heather now taunts her old high-school nemesis, calling Jenny/ Sarah a “jailbird’s daughter.” “Guess you didn’t follow in daddy’s footsteps, after all,” Heather sneers. Sarah has had enough. She kicks Heather into a trophy case, knocking her out cold. “Go Cougars,” Jenny growls.

Meanwhile, “Jenny Burton” has been named queen of the reunion! Chuck and Casey are shocked. Just then, Jenny/ Sarah enters the gym. Bruised and soaking wet, she allows herself to be crowned. The crowd applauds. Chuck smiles like a proud not-quite boyfriend.

One final commercial break later, the party at the Buy More is over. The store is a complete wreck. “Don’t worry,” Morgan says. “We’ll fix this.” MONTAGE! The employees clean up the store throughout the night and into the following day. As Big Mike gets out of his car, Lester thanks the staff for all their hard work. “Guys, what we have accomplished here is incredible,” Lester says. It’s a rare heartfelt moment.

Big Mike enters and congratulates Lester on running such a tight ship. But the assistant store manager has decided to call it quits. “The pressure of management is too much,” Lester says. “I would really appreciate if I could just resume my former position.” Big Mike is not pleased.

Chuck and Jenny, in the meantime, share a cheeseburger. Chuck wonders aloud what made Jenny into Sarah. As if on cue, we get a FLASHBACK!

Sarah looks at the wads of cash left behind by her father when Director Graham suddenly emerges from the tree line. “I’m the man that put your father in prison,” he says. “The question is: Who are you? In San Diego you go by Jenny Burton. In Wisconsin, its Katie OConnell. In Cleveland, its Rebecca Franco …”

Graham then explains that dad’s scams put him in a great deal of danger. He put pops in jail to save his life. Graham then offers to save Jenny’s life. “You like names so much,” Graham says. “What do you think about Sarah Walker?” And an origin story ends.

Back in the present, Chuck declines to ask Sarah about her past. “I know who you are,” he says. “You’re a girl I want to share a cheeseburger with.” Chuck then gets up to look for a knife to cut the burger with, but Sarah stops him. She pulls a knife out of her leg holster, which Chuck simultaneously finds awesome and disturbing.

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